So many of the couples I see online either in destination wedding subreddits or Facebook groups are anxious, stressed, and frankly, ticked off that their destination wedding planning experience is not meeting their expectations. They’ll send an email to a resort’s wedding staff, and then… crickets. The overwhelmingly common question I hear is “Why don’t resorts answer my destination wedding emails?”

For those brides and grooms, it feels like a mountain of stress is absolutely crushing them, while they stressfully refresh their inboxes, anxiously awaiting the reply, letting them know that the destination wedding of their dreams is within reach…. but they never hear back.

So what gives? Why aren’t resorts begging brides and grooms to bring a large group to their resort for a dreamy, picturesque destination wedding??

Get ready for an honest answer to their stress-filled question… one that you might not love.

Those stressed-out, engaged couples are really only making one mistake: starting the process with expectations that don’t match the situation.

So, to try and help you set expectations that are reasonable, based in reality, and can be met, I wanted to clarify some information about why resorts aren’t answering your destination wedding emails. I’m going to share some questions I’ve either received or read in these groups, and share my insight as a destination wedding specialist travel agent. Let’s dive in!

Why aren’t resorts answering my destination wedding emails?

This is a biggie. THIS is where most couples’ frustrations begin, especially if they try to plan a destination wedding on their own without the help of a destination wedding specialist travel agent!

You may not love these answers, but understanding what you’re working with will help you set more realistic expectations as you embark on this super fun, important, and sometimes a teeny bit stressful wedding planning journey!

What do resorts’ wedding teams do?

All-inclusive resorts have destination wedding teams that answer emails, finalize wedding plans, handle wedding contracts and vendors, manage logistics, and physically execute wedding plans. Their job already sounds huge, right? Now consider that most resorts have at LEAST 1 wedding per day. Some have 3-5 per day, or even more, depending on the size of the property, their specific policies, scheduling limits, etc. Can you imagine executing 3+ customized weddings per day!? (and doing it well!?) It’s a truly demanding job!

Because there are so dang many weddings going on (even if it’s 1 per day, that’s still a LOT of weddings to pull off!), resort’s wedding teams absolutely MUST have a finely-honed system that keeps the trains running on time (that’s a little bridal veil humor for you ;)), and it’s important to trust the process, at least most of the time.

Why do they answer so slowly!?!

On any given day, they’re MOST focused on the weddings happening TODAY, tomorrow, and this week. They’ve got couples arriving who want to tour the venues, have a rehearsal, double-check all the details of their big day, and oh yeah, actually get married! (plus helping all the wedding guests!)

Then their next priority is locking in all the wedding details (florals, photography, etc.) for each couple’s wedding package, which doesn’t usually happen until a couple of months before the wedding.. but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Finally, their next biggest priority is locking in future wedding dates with new couples… followed by answering existing couples’ questions.

If you really look at the whole cycle, you’ll see there are a LOT of things going on, absolutely every day, and while resorts love and appreciate you for choosing them for your dream destination wedding, answering questions about a potential wedding, or just discussing decor options are, sadly, fairly low on their priorities list.

How can I get faster email responses from resorts about my destination wedding?

Now that you understand the resort’s POV, what can we do about it? How can we get resorts to answer your destination wedding emails and your questions?

Benefits of a TA for a destination wedding extend farther than you think!

Honestly, working with a destination wedding specialist travel agent is a HUGE help in this process. Because we bring repeat business to these resorts (or, even have the potential to bring in repeat business), resorts’ destination wedding teams tend to answer us much more quickly than they do the general public.

It helps even more if you hire a destination wedding specialist travel agent who visits these properties and builds relationships with the wedding teams.

It helps even MORE if you hire a destination wedding specialist travel agent who is a graduate of the Destination Wedding University, an in-depth course I proudly completed a few years ago, and an organization I still belong to today. It’s a group of like-minded destination wedding travel agents who share our experiences, photos, wedding packages, and tips with each other, because even though I’d love to visit and send a wedding to nearly all the resorts in Mexico and the Caribbean, that’s nearly impossible!

Instead, I’m so thankful to share my experiences, photos, contract terms, and more with my TA friends, and to receive theirs as well. Additionally, this organization (Destination Wedding Playbook) advocates on behalf of wedding couples, to make wedding packages more inclusive or more customizable for you, to make room block contracts more manageable and logical for you and your group, and who generally elevates the destination wedding experience for us all! In short, our group is making waves in the all-inclusive destination wedding space, and I am so proud to be a part of it!

In addition to the zillions of other benefits of hiring a destination wedding specialist travel agent to help plan your dream destination wedding… honestly, getting faster email responses ranks up there on the list!!

How to Email Resort Wedding Teams

Secondly, if you are going to be in direct communication with the resort, one HUGE tip is this:

Consolidate your questions into one, single email whenever possible.

The more back-and-forth you have, or the more times you send a one-off question, the slower you will receive responses. Try the BLOT (Bottom Line On Top) method; put your names, the wedding date, and the main topic in the subject line. Then gather ALL of your questions for the foreseeable future, and email them all at once. Trust me, this is more helpful than you’d imagine!

Finally, copy your travel agent on your emails to the resort!

I try to communicate directly with resorts on behalf of my clients as much as possible, but in the times when it just makes more sense for the couple to contact them directly (when deciding decor and other final wedding details, etc.), I request that my couples copy me on emails, so that I’m in the loop and can follow up for answers if they take longer than the normal wait!

How do I find information about destination weddings if they’re not emailing me back?

We already know those wedding teams are going to be SLOW to respond.. like, molasses in winter, slow. Waiting for the next season of your favorite show during a writer’s strike, slow… So what on earth do you do if you want to learn more about their weddings?

Destination Wedding Specialist Travel Advisors are the answer.. but really

First, I’ll always say, hire a destination wedding travel agent, please!!! Even if it’s not me, PLEASE hire a destination wedding specialist travel agent. We will save you from doing a full-time job (on top of your own full-time job) that has high stakes and requires a great deal of expertise. Trust me on this!

In addition to all the other benefits of hiring a DW TA, you get our resources!

When I suggest resorts to my wedding couples (which always comes in the form of a carefully curated list, specifically matching their budget, preferences, venue wishes, resort vibe, and guests’ needs), I provide them with as much wedding information about the resort as I can. They get the wedding package brochures, and if the resorts in questions offer them, they also get the wedding venue brochures, preferred vendors for any extras, real photos of the resorts (not just their marketing pics), details about the inclusions, and much more!

My couples don’t have to research resorts, read reviews, wonder what’s included, or if the pictures they see are updated or even real. They get the real deal from me – everything they need to make a decision.

But, if you haven’t yet clicked with the perfect TA and you’re trying on your own, maybe you want to find some of this info yourself.

Where can I find destination wedding package information?

If you are just a glutton for punishment and want to do hours and hours of research about your destination wedding all on your own, you’ll definitely need to find your resort’s wedding package brochure.

This can typically be found on resort’s websites, under the events / wedding heading in their menus. But I’ll save you some time and go ahead and tell you- not all resorts post the brochures there, or don’t always keep them updated.

Some resorts want to get your contact info, and make you fill out an entire inquiry, just to get the brochure. Suddenly you’re 14 emails deep with no end in sight… ugh.

So before you spend any more fruitless hours searching for these package brochures, know that some just can’t be found online, or take a LOT of time, effort, and ‘unsubscribe’ clicks to browse. Again, the perfect solution is – ask the destination wedding specialist TA you hired! We have resources and will be able to get this to you faster than you’d think!

P.S. I know it sounds right now like everything I’m saying is – hire a TA! – but I promise that is not the point of this blog post. It’s just that destination weddings are seriously a MASSIVE undertaking, and a giant investment. Why wouldn’t you want to hire a professional in this field to ensure you land the perfect resort and that everything goes off without a hitch?

Which Path Will You Choose?

Okay, now that you’re in-the-know and have adjusted your expectations to meet the moment, it’s time to decide. Do you want to go it alone, do the research, wait for resorts to answer your destination wedding emails, and hope for the best? Or do you want to hire a destination wedding expert to be your wing-woman and get the job done?

Either way is completely fine! Here’s what to know about each one:

Going it alone? Here’s what to expect:

Honestly, you’re going to need to be an extremely Type-A person with quite a bit of free time and will power to get this thing done. In addition to waiting for resorts to answer your destination wedding emails, you’ll need to check these things off your destination wedding to-do list, at a minimum:

• Find a resort (get them to answer you!)
• Choose a venue for your ceremony, cocktail hour, and reception, as well as the wedding package that best meets your needs
• Find out the wedding date availability at said resort, and lock it in with a contract
• Figure out how to save rooms for your guests
• Communicate your destination wedding plans to your guests and encourage them to book rooms
• Keep track of the guest list.. not just the folks who “RSVP yes” but keep track of those who actually book a room, pay for it in full, have passports, and truly travel to your chosen destination
• Stay in touch with your wedding team (slowly, of course 😉) and make sure your guest list, numbers, rooming list, and all wedding details are locked in
• Make sure your guests know the plan
• Travel to your destination, and wish your guests luck while they do the same

Truthfully, this is the bare-est bones list I could come up with… this is a BIG job, and this DIY Destination Wedding Checklist covers literally only the bare minimum… it’s A LOT.

If that feels like too much (and I wouldn’t blame you, this is literally a full-time job!), here’s what you can expect if you hire this destination wedding expert travel agent:

Hiring a destination wedding expert travel agent? Here’s how to do it:

Click Here to schedule a completely free consultation call. We’ll spend around an hour either on a phone call or video call (your choice!), get to know each other, talk about your destination wedding plans, dreams, budget, and needs, and learn about the whole process that you’re starting.

If we’re a good fit, we’ll start working together, and I’ll handle almost everything, except making decisions that are personal to you guys!

That’s it. That’s the list. Easy-peasy.

There’s no pressure to do either one, but as you can see in this post, I do like to help you set appropriate expectations so you know what you’re getting into from the start. ☺️

I hope this helps! Feel free to shoot me an email if you’ve got any questions!

~ Allison Slater